Biography of a Dog

Hi, my name is Copper, but sometimes my masters (I have a lot of them!) call me Dug. I'm a purebred Golden Retriever, which means I'm just a pretty dog. My middle name is Roy because everyone says that the way I howled when they took me away from my family sounded like I was saying "Roy! Roy!"

That was a very bad day.

But its not so bad now. My masters eventually dispensed with the big, ugly kennel and let me sleep on the girls' bedroom floor. Now they tell me I'm the reason they're tearing up the carpet!

Of late the human they call Megan has been taking care of me, since Cait got tired of it, I think. Although she's sometimes a little late in getting my meals (I like a lot of them!), but she makes up for it by giving me lots of table scraps.

Of course...there was that nasty little notion she took to give me a bath. A BATH!! I hadn't had a bath in months! Baths are for CITY DOGS!

I'm a country dog. I like being dirty and digging holes. My mistress doesn't like it when I do that, 'cause she has to clean my paws every time I come in. I say, "You can't teach an old dog a new trick," even if she did teach me how to shake.

Some of my people are really easy to curry treats from. I have mastered techniques in begging very subtly.
Hang around what you want for a while, stare at your master/mistress with your beautiful brown eyes, and only glance at what you want really quickly when they look at you. If that doesn't work, move closer to your human and keep your eyes fixed on them. Don't whine. Just stare, and maybe wag and thump your tail when they glance at you.

Still no response? Lay your warm head in your human's lap. The whole process of slowly breaking down your human's resolve will also melt their susceptible hearts (that means they'll break down and give you what you want).

So yeah, life's okay. I like snow, digging, food (especially meat!), roaming the range, playing in the creek, chewing on things, being petted and chasing my tail. My people like to make me chase my tail when we have company because everyone thinks its funny. I'm still a young pup, but everyone is telling me I'm old. AND I'M ONLY FOUR YEARS OLD!!

These humans have no sense of-of-anything! I have a lovely goldish-red coat, a deep, throaty bark and nice sharp teeth. What more does dog want besides his dinner?

By the way, I really, really, really like dog treats. The crunchy ones are okay, but the juicy, meaty ones are the best!